HW 17- Outline Suggestions

Hey Devin,
I think that this is a great start for your paper.That was a great opening for your paper. I think its interesting that you decided to talk about Digital Representational Devices are mentally and physically dangerous for us. I think you have very good and well developed arguments, but maybe you should separate the texting and how it causes our writing skills to decline, from the video games and reading argument.


I also think it would be interesting if you added an argument how DRD's in our everyday life can negatively affect us physically and mentally.

It looks like your paper will be great once it is developed with evidence and quotes. Good Job!!!
-Aja

To Julie:
Hey Julie,
I think that your thesis is good to start off with, but it seems a little broad to me. I think that you should focus on either how technology keeps on evolving (and the affect on future generations) or how it will keep us form being as intact with the rest of the world. Just narrow it down a bit. I think that oyur arguments are good for now, but wit h evidence they will be even better. Just as a side note, I think that your paper will be the best the more you talk about you.Your whole paper is about teens and how they are affected by digitalization... well you are a teen. This paper should be about you.