HW 36 - Triangle Partner Comments

Hey Devin,
From reading your paper, I got that your main idea was dangerous about trying to be cool. Worrying about what others think, consuming products that we think are cool. or just becoming a selfish person overall. All of this contributes to living a meaningless life.

I think that your main idea is revolving around being greedy means that you are cool, but I wasn't really sure. Based on how you related your thesis back to Shakespear (Macbeth, Hamlet) and also Leo Tolstoy's book 'The Death of Ivan Ilych' supported your idea of greediness and how it could lead to a meaningless life.

- I think that to make your main idea more sharp, you could add maybe a little more personal experiences, or what you see around you.
- Also I think that maybe if you added your opinion on the benefits of giving into these cool norms (if you belive there are any benefits, if not why?)
- You're second paragraph about the 'the death of Ivan Ilych' goes along with your paragraph about 'Feed'. It would be interesting if you connected 'The Death of Ivan Ilych' to how the Feed caused the teenagers to binge on material things.




Hey Julie,
Your current thesis is that teenagers trying to be cool affects them in many different ways. However I think you should consider changing it to "teenagers ideas of cool revolves around different social groups, cultural plans, gender roles etc. (ok maybe not this exact one... but consider being a little bit more specific lol)


- I think that you should relate your thesis back to some of the thing we learned in class (i.e. cool pose, cultural maps, tattoos, and the story you wrote.)
- Your paper doesn't really analyze the idea of cool. I think you should go deeper into why do you think teens do these things to be cool. Incorporate the idea of "saving face" or performer vs. character. How do you think this relates to teenagers today?
-You mention that everyone is playing roles. Even though you may not consider your self cool, but what are somethings you do to fit in? You think everyone should 'just get over themselves and give it up' but is it really as easy as you make it seem? Who are you following and are you willing to give it up and be yourself (if that even exist)?

Great start though!!